Finding Inner Peace

     Hello! Recently this week I've been trying a few different ways of taking care of myself (which I wasn't doing before, apparently) in an effort to focus on my health, both mentally and physically. Today I'm going to focus on my mental health efforts, and at the end of this week I'll talk about my physical health!

    I can get very anxious or stressed out often. And while it's always a part of everyone's life, lately I've felt that my mental health, for one reason or another, has taken a bit of a plunge. In the last few weeks, I've faced rejection from every job I've applied to, I got out of a nearly two year relationship, I got rejected from the honors program I really wanted to get into, and I haven't had the opportunity to see any of my friends from home, since they're all out of town or busy. This has all piled up to really weigh down on me mentally, since loneliness and failure typically aren't known to make people super happy.

    That being said, recognizing your problem is often the first step to tackling and beating it. The next step was doing something about it. And I decided to approach this a few different ways:

    First, I stopped putting out more energy than I would receive. This sounds like very Instagram self-care guru bullshit, but I realized that for as many people as I'd reach out to, check up on, and keep up with, much fewer people returned the favor. It sounds sad, and it was for a little bit, but I realized that this doesn't mean that those people don't care about me or aren't my friends, it just means that they aren't the type of friend that I need right now. If I'm at a lower point in my mental health, it isn't healthy to continue to push myself in ways that aren't reaping benefits, and just tiring me out. So for however long it takes, I'm limiting my communication to the friends who reach out to me, rather than wait for me to reach out.

    Second, and this sounds even sillier, I started keeping track of what kind of games I play. Every night, I usually stay up late with a few buddies playing videogames for a few hours, enjoying some good games, teamwork, and a considerable amount of yelling (sorry Mom and Dad). However, certain games end up being more stressful than others, so I wanted to see what I could cut down on to lower my stress levels. Turns out, Lucky Block Skywars, which is a game I play with Wade every night, would result in a lot more stress, anger, and general frustration, which is likely because it is a battle-royale game that relies on luck/gambling more than skill, meaning that 1) it's every man for himself, and 2) sometimes I'll lose for reasons beyond my control, making me frustrated. Instead, I've started to play League of Legends more (insane, I know) as a healthier alternative. This is because it's a team-based game with longer matches (so its not as fast-paced and chaotic) and an emphasis on skill rather than luck (so now whenever I die, its either because I made a mistake or the other team is just better). Additionally, I play this game with a lot more friends that I don't have the privelege of seeing everyday like Wade, so its a nice way to keep us connected through gaming!

    Third has been my journaling, which I have been doing for just under a year at this point, so it's nothing new. I cannot recommend journaling enough to anyone reading- not only is it a healthy way to express your thoughts freely without consequence, but by writing out whatever you're feeling, you can understand yourself a lot better and learn from it, rather than just seething in your own emotional mess. I don't journal as often as I used to, but I still think its a great option to have for anyone going through a low point of mental health!

    I'm going to wrap it up there, but I hope that reading through my processes of finding peace and reducing anxiety and stress in my life can help anyone reading this come up with their own solutions for their problems. Sometimes its as easy as taking a step back and recognizing what you're going through, so remember, just keep trying! :)