Is Teaching My Future?

     Without fail, every single time I have mentioned that I am an English major to a new person I meet, their knee-jerk reaction is always: Oh! So you want to be a teacher/professor? And every time, I have flared a little smile and replied, Nah, I'd love to be a screenwriter!

    I have no issue with being an educator. In fact, it's probably one of the career choices I respect the most in other people.  To me, the very act of pursuing the education of others is an inherently selfless act: you choose to help others flourish and succeed, rather than pursuing that success (at least, how society views success) for yourself. Admittedly, however, I think that I've always subconsciously viewed this as a passive act. You sacrifice your potential, you surrender to teaching. I know that this mindset is wrong, and I always give my brain a little slap whenever the thought crosses my mind, but it still persists in the further corners of my brain.

    Maybe I have some sort of unrealized frustration with education... It may be the constant assumption that simply because I chose to stick with English, I must be aiming to be a professor. It could also be a societal perception towards teaching that I adopted subconsciously, after all, if teachers are paid less, then they must be worth less, right (no, very clearly no). Deep down, though, I think it's because I have a reductive point of view with the profession. At least, I used to.

    Recently, I've found myself in more and more teaching roles than ever before. Sometimes, it's a voluntary thing that I'm aware of: for example, teaching some coworkers at my editing job how to bowl correctly at a magazine bonding event. If I'm being honest, I wasn't teaching them how to bowl better out of the kindness of my heart. They just sucked. Badly. And my competitive spirit refused to let my own bowling performance be bogged down by others. So, shrouding my spiteful competitiveness under the guise of enthusiastic teaching, I started giving pointers to my coworkers every time they missed their shot, and slowly, they started improving!

    But something else was changing besides their bowling skills. While my desire to mentor them had been initially borne out of a selfish desire to win, at some point, my motivation changed. I found myself on the edge of my seat with every new turn, eagerly fixing my eyes on the ball as they started throwing straighter, faster, and harder. Before I was fully aware, I realized I had been clapping, cheering, and fist bumping each bowler as they returned to their seat, regardless of their performance. I was getting personally invested in each person's improvement, and in return, they were getting more invested in the game, and in myself!

    By the final round, I was happy simply knowing that I helped others improve and learn something new. Don't worry if that sounds corny though, because my happiness level shot through the roof when one of my apprentices hit a perfect strike, which pushed our team to end with just two points above the rival team. Interestingly, however, I think I would've been just as hyped if we lost... Something about the faces of my coworkers first lighting up with their pride, and then immediately searching for my face, as if to seek my approval, made me feel warm and proud. 

    That's what teaching is about. It has nothing to do with you, your ambitions, or your reasons for teaching. The second you realize how it feels to elevate another person beyond what they previously thought was possible, that's the second you understand teaching.

    And so, when I opened my email and found an invitation to work for FSU as a undergraduate teacher for a freshman class, I didn't feel the same frustration or disappointment with being lumped in with the "teaching" profession. Instead, I felt really, really excited: first for being considered for the opportunity, and then for the idea of helping other people settle into their university experience, just like I did only one year ago. I don't know if I'll get the position, nor do I know if I'm particularly qualified for the job, but I do know this: If I do get the job, I will work with a passion unlike anything I've done before to improve the lives of as many people as possible.

Because that's what teaching is about.