Writing A Script About Sirens (Not Really)

 Hello again! I've taken a month to take some time off (it is the summer after all) and start cooking a new idea for a story! The looming expectations of my application to FSU Film's Screenwriting program seem to dominate every minute where I'm not busy with school work or other activities, so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone and work on an original story for a little bit while also tackling Writing Sample 3 of the MFA Application, which says:

"A sample of original creative work, such as a short story, short play or screenplay of up to 5 pages."

    Seems like a lot of wiggle room this time! I'm actually really looking forward to writing something for FSU Film that isn't borne from a restrictive prompt. While I do think that limits force writers to be more creative, and I feel pretty proud of my last script about microwaves, I do want to write a script that gives me a chance to flex my more creative situational imagination instead of dealing with pre-written premises.

    So! What to write about? My initial instinct would be to write a comedic piece (since I think that's one of my strengths) but when I stopped to think about it, I realized that the microwave script was already comedic, and I assumed that the spider killer script would also be pretty funny since those submissions tend to include a lot of physical comedy since it includes no dialogue. So, keeping this in mind, I decided to try my luck at a more dramatic/serious story since it would do better to show off my range as a writer beyond just being "funny guy." Having said that, I also have to acknowledge that writing dramas is not my strong suit, and it is not something I have a lot of experience writing, so it's a tremendous gamble. If it pays off, then I've managed to make my weakness my greatest strength in my application, but if I mess it up, then I waste a spot where I could've shown off my strengths as a writer by exposing my weaknesses.

So no pressure, right?

    I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that I was swimming in good ideas for dramas, so I ended up visiting a good friend of mine: my phone's Notes app. I've always used the same document to write down little phrases or sentences for writing ideas I've had throughout the years, but I seldom end up using these ideas since I prefer writing stories that come to me in the moment rather than having to dig through what was effectively a "junk pile" of stories. However, in a stroke of luck, I found an idea that stood out to me pretty nicely.

The original idea on Notes App

    This premise stood out to me for a couple of reasons: firstly, I liked the angle of exploring PTSD. I felt like this was the sort of serious topic I should structure a dramatic story around, and with all of the international conflicts happening recently, I felt like this was a topic that would allow me to touch on heavier topics like war without having to take a political decision about a specific war (not that I'd shy away from that normally but I don't want that to take focus away from the actual story). Secondly, the idea of writing a story centered around an older protagonist would give me the chance to write from a perspective I normally wouldn't, given my inexperience with being an old man. I also felt like writing from an older man's perspective would be more interesting to read for the admissions committee (since I bet almost all of their submissions are written from the perspective of younger adults). Lastly, the potential of writing in some sort of supernatural threat (like the siren monster) into the script was really enticing to me, because it felt like it could be the sort of compromise crutch to carry my weakness in writing dramas. The siren monster being a sort of physical manifestation of the threat that PTSD can pose to older veterans felt like a really cool idea to make it more "artsy" and provide a more tangible threat for me to write around. I was also fresh from writing "Weed Demon" earlier this year, which included writing for a similar supernatural manifestation of a mental affliction, so I was pretty hyped to keep practicing that sort of writing style!

    There was one glaring issue though: the page limit. As fun as this story seemed to write for, I had a LOT of ideas and NOT so much space to explore these ideas... So just like I did for the microwave script, I would have to "mutilate" my story in order to get it to a better spot, and unfortunately, the first item on the chopping block was the siren monster. As tragic as it would be to abandon my horrific siren creature before writing the first line of dialogue, it felt like way too much to introduce at the end of a five-page story, and it felt sort of ham-fisted and forced into a script that was otherwise fairly grounded in reality. As I grappled with figuring out how to make this story work without the monster, I experimented with different ways on writing this story. Funnily enough, I actually wrote an 11-page short story version of this idea as a method of understanding the world I was creating along with the characters I was writing for, and this ended up being very helpful, even though I wouldn't be able to neatly translate the short story version into being a 5 page script.

    This did get me thinking, however, about questioning my approach to writing this story. My biggest issue so far with writing this script was consistently the page limit, as I felt like it would be tight to write a full story in just five pages. But then it hit me: who said it had to be a full story? As it says on the FSU Film website and guidelines, they're asking for a sample of original work, not a complete original work. So what if I just wrote a snapshot scene from a presumably longer (maybe even feature length!) story? I'd be able to pick and choose from which part of the story I would start and end from, and I wouldn't have to be weighed down by the expectations of resolving the overarching conflict! Problem solved!

    So instead of writing the full story, I chose to focus on writing a screenplay adaptation of my favorite scene from the short story I wrote based on this idea. The scene is centered around an argument that blows up between Harry (the old veteran) and his son Simon, who is taking care of him due to his poor health. I chose this scene because it gave the most depth to Simon, who is meant to be less interesting of a character than Harry (the protagonist). The full story is focused specifically on Harry's struggle with mental health issues and PTSD, but in this scene, the primary conflict is the straining relationship between father and son. It's a difficult reality to confront, but often times family members who take care of their older family can start to get frustrated or even resentful towards them. It's a hard job to watch a loved one become difficult to live with, and its often a job that is suddenly thrust upon the family, whether they're ready for it or not. I wanted to draw inspiration from this emotionally complex situation and use it to feed into the character drama aspect of this story and use it as a supporting plotline for how Harry's PTSD is crippling and ruining his life.

    After writing a couple of drafts, I ended up finding a draft where I was pretty happy with the dialogue, the ebb and flow of the argument between Harry and Simon, and also found a really good line to end on (which is always something I struggle with). Now I was faced with a new issue: this "ideal draft" was barely four pages, meaning I was giving up two pages of space for no reason. Here I was faced with a tough choice- do I add more writing to a draft I was already happy with, just so I could reach the page maximum, or should I let it stay as an intentionally short submission and make that a statement on my willingness to leave a project alone instead of adding bullshit to it?

    I went with a third option: phoning some friends! What's the point of having friends in the film school if they can't give you advice when you're stuck on a script? So I reached out to a few friends (Namely Wade, Carlos, and Sam from the film school) to get some notes on what they think I could improve on! After one more round of revision, I was pretty content with where the draft was sitting.

    HOWEVER! During one of my meetings with Paige, the Head of Admissions at FSU Film, I spontaneously asked if she'd like to take a look at the unfinished script since the rest of the meeting went by pretty quickly. And thank god I did! She seemed to like the story and characters, but mentioned that the argument between Harry and Simon escalates very suddenly- WHICH WAS EXACTLY WHAT WAS BOTHERING ME! Something felt off with the pacing of the story, but I couldn't figure out what to remove or adjust. The realization that it was simply something that needed to be added fixed two problems at once: the pacing and the short length of the script. After adding in an extra beat to further fray Simon's nerves and frustrate him, I was looking at a script that flowed much more naturally, captured the chaotic energy I wanted from their argument, and sat at a comfortable five pages. PERFECT !!!

    At the end of the day, I was left with a complete, five-page script that showcased how I write for more dramatic, character-centric pieces. The whole process of working on this project was extremely rewarding, as I was able to experiment with different ways of solidifying a story concept as well as work with the feedback from others to create a more complete project. I'm really proud of myself! Now, onto the final writing sample... THE SPIDER.